Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille Day, everyone! If you need to know anything about me, you should know that I am obsessed with all things French and undoubtedly belong in Paris. (So naturally, I'm moving to... Spain? Sometimes I don't understand myself.)

You know how everybody uncontrollably sobs during the first 15 minutes of the movie "Up" or the end of "Titanic"? Well, that also happens to me when I watch the opening scene of "Midnight in Paris".

My name is Courtney, and I'm a francophile. 

Three years ago when I was living in Spain, I took a spontaneous trip to Paris during my spring break because I knew I would be a fool to fly all the way to Europe and not visit the city I had been fantasizing about since I was a little girl. Visiting France had been a dream and an obsession of mine since I was a child; even my room was decorated with a Parisian theme. Needless to say, the minute I set foot upon the cobblestone streets of the Left Bank, I fell head over heels in love. I daydreamed about returning to Paris every day since I left.

Two summers ago, I was blessed with the opportunity to actually live in Paris for a month and study Surrealist art and literature. I could hardly even believe that I had the chance to fulfill my lifelong dream of living in Paris.

And you guys, it was perfect.

Our only homework assignment was to "get lost in Paris" and aimlessly wander through the city, documenting what we encountered and how it moved us. Every day was filled with adventure, art, spontaneity and literature. Every moment was inspiring. I spent my time wandering through the world's best museums, snacking on delicious macarons from Ladurée, strolling along the Seine, and channelling my inner Hemingway at quaint Parisian cafés.

Gertrude Stein once quoted, "America is my country, and Paris is my hometown." I couldn't have said it better myself. I've never felt such a genuine connection to a city before. I've come to the realization that I am undoubtedly French at heart. Much like myself, the French have a passion for enjoying gourmet food, place profound importance on literature and the arts, pursue intellect wholeheartedly, and take their time appreciating all that life has to offer. The embrace la joie de vivre, which entails living life to the absolute fullest. The are thinkers, creators, lovers. They approach life with a zealous passion that brings enlightenment to all perspectives. Their culture exudes class and sophistication, and by all means they are proud of their French identity. And who can blame them? It is a culture of greatness. 

Throughout all of my travels around the world, Paris is by far the most beautiful city I've encountered. I've ridden camels in Morocco, watched bullfights in Madrid, zip lined through the jungles of Mexico, basked on the beaches of southern Spain, skied through the snowy mountains of Whistler, climbed the rock of Gibraltar to play with wild monkeys, explored the Highlands of Scotland, and relished the sublime beauty of Iguazú Falls. And yet, nothing quite compares to the magic of Paris.

Visado

Guess who officially has their Spanish visa? This girl!

I'm beyond thrilled to have a legal means to enter the country come September. And the fact that it arrived in such a timely manner is a feat within itself. (No offense, España. But being timely and organized isn't exactly your thing.)

However, my excitement soon dissipated as I over-enthusiastically started perusing many expat blogs, specifically those of former Auxiliares de Conversación in Spain.

Information overload is an understatement.

Much of the advice I came across detailed crucial information - such as what to pack in my suitcase, how to find housing, and how to acclimate to the Spanish meal and party schedule. In other words, all things that I need to know and should probably take to heart. However, all of that information at once made my heart race a little faster than usual.

And then came the complaints. All of the reasons why these Auxiliares disliked the program. (The word "hate" was even mentioned several times. Talk about breaking the cardinal rule of blogging!) Excruciating detail of how dysfunctional the Spanish government is, how frustrating it is to work alongside of them, and how everything that could go wrong does go wrong. The underlying message I got was: "Whether it be applying for residency, getting your first paycheck 3-4 months late or having teachers take complete advantage of you... shit happens. And it will happen to you."

The one word to describe how I'm feeling right now is "anxiety".

I recognize that this program won't be granting me the "perfect Spanish experience", because I've lived in Spain before and I know that those idealistic expectations ain't true! Part of living abroad is getting out of your comfort zone and letting life mess with you a little bit a lot. I get that. I've been there. (And I'm going there again.)

I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed contemplating what to pack, what to buy, how to find a nice apartment, when to find a nice apartment, how do I get my residency card, how am I ever going to survive staying out until 6 am when I can hardly stay awake until 11 pm, finding gluten free food in Spain, saving money to travel on the weekends, saving money in general because apparently my first paycheck comes 3 months late, I don't know how to save money in the first place, why don't Spaniards wear J.Crew, what if the students I teach are all crazy and poorly behaved, what if I spontaneously forget my past 10 years of Spanish...

... you get where I'm going with this.

Emotion mind is telling me to keep panicking, because it's instinctual and I suppose I'm pretty good at it. Reasonable mind is ready to start planning the strategic details of my trip right now. Wise mind is telling me, "Okay, so you have some daunting tasks ahead of you, but if you tackle them one at a time - which you will - you don't have to worry. Breathe."

(C'mon. What kind of psych major would I be if I didn't sprinkle some subtle DBT references into my blog posts every so often? I didn't spend a year working in Marsha Linehan's lab for nothing, you know.)

So maybe it was a bad idea for me to marathon-read all of the blog posts I could find about this program. Now it's time for me to take some deep breaths, sip a nice cup of tea, and think positive thoughts about all that I need to get done before leaving - one step at a time.

And having my visa is an awfully good start, don't you think?

Sunset in Cádiz cerca 2010 - a calming force.

Take Me Back To: Cusco

This past fall when I traveled to South America, I became profoundly infatuated with the city of Cusco. It didn't take long after my flight from Lima to Cusco landed until I fell more and more in love with Peru. I've dreamed about coming here since I started taking Spanish classes in eight grade, and ten years later here I am, able to say that I lived out my dream.

Peru is nothing like I've ever experienced before. Despite a complex history and a bloody past involving the Spanish conquest of the Inca empire,  the culture of Peru embodies resilience. On our first day in Cusco, we toured the city and visited many sites of ancient Incan ruins including Saqsawaman, Quenko and Tambomachay. The fact that many of these ruins were preserved through the destruction of their culture by the Spanish conquistadors absolutely astounds me. Although in the 1500s the conquistadors dominated and destroyed the Inca people and their land, the native soul of Cusco remains intact. The people are incredibly generous and kind, and are unfailingly in touch with their roots. The contrast between Cusco and Lima is rather stark, for Lima is an urban metropolis while Cusco is quaint, rustic and cozy. Cusco is the beating heart of Peru.

They say the Incas chose Cusco as their capital because the high altitude brought them closer to the gods, and I personally don't doubt their decision at all. This charming town is surrounded by stunning mountains, colorful skies and sheer magic. Vast, ornate cathedrals lie atop historic Incan ruins, narrow cobblestone streets run through the city like a winding river - bustling with people and honking cars that can hardly fit. The scent of spices wafts through the air, and strangers engage in friendly conversations in the plazas and small antiquated shops.

When I wasn't sipping on hot cups of coca tea, I indulged on sweet glasses of peach juice or bubble gum-esque Inca Kolas. Peruvians make excellent use of one of my all-time favorite foods: quinoa. Quinoa soup with vegetables, quinoa salad, quinoa cakes for breakfast; you name it. Peru is quinoa heaven. Meats are tenderly cooked with savory spices and mashed potatoes, and locals celebrate with bold pisco sours. Peruvian food far exceeded my expectations, and needless to say, I am in love with the cuisine of Cusco.

To be quite honest, I love everything about Peru - not just the delicious food or magnificent sights. This may have been my first and only time to Peru, and by no means do I see myself living there, but I love it dearly. Peru is a country with real soul. A blend of ancient and modern, a juxtaposition between a difficult history and a bright future, Peru - and Cusco especially - will always have a piece of my heart. The culture is incomparable to anywhere else I've traveled to, and I was moved by every moment I spent here.